A F#!*in Killer Fairy God Mother

malayCinderella didn’t need a fancy dress and a pumpkin with wheels to get the Prince; she just needed some support in realizing her potential so she could show up to the ball as the best version of herself. Her support came from a fairy godmother cloaked in a blue robe, carrying a wand. So when I needed some support in exploring my potential, I began the search for a fairy godmother of my own. She turned out to be a tiny tattooed Laotian woman with a white board and a laser pointer.

As a double-Gemini, I exhibit a very classic characteristic; the inability to be still (both physically and mentally). My active mind is always looking ahead at what could be, which sometimes leaves my present a hot mess. My spirit does amazing things for me, but in the past year I came to the realization that I wasn’t offering anybody or any task my best because I was continuously taking on too many things. Being a mother of 2, and wife to a hunky husband, I felt that my to-do list was taking me away from moments of joy I wanted to experience with them. My business was thriving, but there was significant room for growth that I simply didn’t have time to nurture. And my inability to say no lead me into roles and commitments that didn’t fulfill me. I was a frenetic being unable to give anything in my life undivided attention.

A friend of mine, and spunky member of my gym (CrossFit 8035), began a life coaching practice (Full Pursuit Life Coaching). Through networking groups and workouts we got to know one another, and she gently threw out the idea of trying out some coaching sessions on several occasions. In a flighty state, I agreed it would be amazing but never followed through on setting aside that time for myself. Then one day, in a frazzled state, I began venting.  She stopped me and asked a simple question…what do you want? As simple as it might sound, I had no idea how to respond, so a week later we met for our first session.

It’s important to know that my father is a psychology wizard. I grew up being asked how I felt, and I developed a fairly strong sense of self-awareness over time. I really believed I had my shit together, even in the self-induced chaotic lifestyle I was living. It wasn’t that I was ever opposed to further self-exploration, I just viewed my high level of stress as a result of the clusters of responsibilities around me and took pride in my ability to juggle a bajillion things at once. So I went into coaching feeling like I had almost all of the answers, but might be able to learn about some healthy options for stress relief. I couldn’t have foreseen my entire life changing for the better in a matter of 5 weeks.  And I’m not exaggerating.

Malay was the perfect fit for my fairy godmother opening. She didn’t boss me around and she didn’t feed me one-size-fits-all words of advice. Rather, she asked me poignant questions to explore my existing perspective, and honed in on what really mattered to me and what obstacles I was creating for myself. She challenged me, my thinking and my willingness to embrace real change, and called me on my bullshit…and I had plenty of bullshit. In just 2 sessions I had transitions from a victim of my circumstances to an almost-master of my destiny. Sounds cheesy but with a small change in thinking, opportunities around me began to present themselves. My relationships improved, my mood was more peaceful and my connection with self (both conscious and subconscious) grew more powerful than I could have anticipated.

Less than two months after beginning my coaching journey with Malay, I took on a new job that I absolutely love (like really really really love), mended several strenuous relationships, learned how to say no to things and be ok with it, and let go of my perceived need to control the things around me in order to set myself free. Though I continue to be a work in progress, I’m more aware of my strengths and my reactions to uncomfortable or stressful situations. And being aware means that I have the ability to learn and choose.

Cinderella didn’t need glass slippers and an up-do to land her man. She just needed to realize her potential. And I didn’t need a fix for my stress and lifestyle, I just needed some support to become my best self. If you can take anything away from this fairytale, it’s that things can always be better.  There’s always room to grow.  There’s always unexplored potential.  But if think of life with limitations and excuses, you’ll never get the chance to wander new paths and see what’s on the other side of a little self-exploration.  Even when things seem good, ask yourself, how good can you stand it?  So if a fairy godmother might be your means to learning or creating or progressing, see Malay. She won’t prance around waving a wand, but she will guide you toward creating a little sparkle in your life.

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