Here’s the deal…baby-talk and constant coddling are crap. I firmly believe that social norms have developed into a complete lack of progressive parenting. Children’s mental, emotional, and social development is hindered by parents inability to be firm and verbal. Suddenly our youth are dictating what goes on in their lives and it seems a lot of adults are down with just sitting back and watching their kids turn into asses. As parents, it’s not our job to be their best friends or give them everything they could ever want. It’s our job to first, fulfill their needs, and secondly, provide an environment that’s conducive to healthy growth and development. To become a productive and happy member of society, to achieve full potential in any area, and to reach a stage of self-actualization, children must receive ongoing and ever-changing stimuli and boundaries that guide the rest of their lives. Baby-talk and coddling will destroy our youth. America will go down the shitter with a bunch of entitled brats at the helm.
Anytime I see an adult speaking complete and utter jibberish in a voice so high it’s bound to generate window fractures, I want to engage them in conversation the same way so they see how ridiculous they sound. Seriously. What are they thinking? Did you know that at birth babies brains are about 25% the weight of an adult brain? That’s a lotta brain in a tiny head. They also have billions of brain cells, some already connected. Over the course of the next 3 years their brains will develop synapses and connections like wildfire. And by age 5, their brain will be at 90% of their potential. So talking to babies and toddlers like they are babies and toddlers can equate to temporarily stunting their development. They retain information at a rate that is incomprehensible. If you fill their spongy minds with stupid stuff and words that don’t exist, you have wasted the most glorious brain matter available on earth.
I realize I’m going to sound like a harsh mother, but I have never baby talked my kids. Ever. Even as newborns we spoke to them softly or silly sometimes, but in full and recognizable sentences…and so did our families and his daycare provider. We read books and point out things that we know they may not understand right away, but suddenly they’ll surprise us with use of a new and killer word, or explanation of something we didn’t even realize they understood. And if they have questions, we have answers; some honest and scientific, some more imaginative. But we don’t rely on “just because” or “God made it that way”. We ask them questions continuously to keep those little mind working and growing. So the next time you get all up in a babies grill to coo, bite your tongue and say something meaningful. Probably no need to recite Kerouac or Poe right away, but you get the idea.
And for those who have crazy and seemingly uncontrollable kids, for the sake of your dignity, my sanity, and your child’s future, man up. You are not a buddy. There’s nothing worse than going into a store or restaurant or movie with some mouthy little shit hopped up on sugar running amok, and their lackadaisical parent sitting back watching as if they have no control. You do. You better believe that if my children ever yell at me or call me a name in public (or home), they’ll get a look that might as well be daggers through their soul, following by a swift grab of the wrist. The escort to the car for a discussion on appropriate behavior will be followed by some sort of punishment that will make them wish they could exchange their mother for something as lovely as the Wicked Witch of the West. And then it would never happen again. Now I understand that every child will have their moments. And one episode doesn’t make anybody a bad parent. But when you have a snotty 13-year-old daughter that sneaks out and demands Coach purses and fake nails, you’ll wish you’d been more stern in her youth. And when your 15-year-old son thinks he can sell drugs for some extra cash, host destructive parties, and function with a complete lack of respect, you’ll look back and regret not laying down the law. So don’t get lazy. Control is not easy to get or maintain. Kids are best at testing boundaries and pushing limits, so if you’re not firm, you lose. Gain respect (not fear) and your child is much more likely to gravitate toward good people and develop solid character.
Spoiled brats, teen pregnancy, early drug use, childhood obesity, educational deterioration, psychological turmoil…personally, I think it can all be chalked up to baby talk and coddling (and maybe a few other things). The most important job you could ever have is parenting. And it’s the hardest too. Do everything you can to provide a solid foundation and the results will be the best they can…sometimes you get a tough nut to crack, but you still can’t throw it out or you’ll never know what could have been. Kids require coaching; you have got to speak to them like adults if they’re ever going to communicate well, and you need to gently guide them down the right road giving a little push here and there. Lets rid the country of naughty and disrespectful kids and get back to good people from good parents. We got this.